Now that I’m once again a single woman, at some point dating will become my new normal. Not quite ready yet, but it will be eventually. After some interesting conversations with individuals from both sexes, I was left with some interesting perspective on how some approach what they want as far as dating and relationships.
For me, this has got to be the riskiest way to approach dating – if you are dating with a purpose. From personal experience I’ve learned to never assume anyone’s intentions. While in your mind you may think it’s going one way, it could very much well be the opposite for the other person. I was told the other day from an admirer who has apparently been an admirer for some time, that he got approved to transfer from NYC to Atlanta and recently moved. What threw me off was that he stated the only reason he did that was because I moved to Atlanta and now that he’s actually there I now live in Florida, and that “he’s not chasing me anywhere else”. Wait – what? Dude, I didn’t even know you were checkin’ for me like that! Not to say that I wouldn’t still do me and moved anyway, but ain’t nobody psychic around here. We’ve never even had that kind of discussion much less. If we did, then he would’ve known not to waste his time doing anything in his life based on what I’m doing. Perfect example of when assuming isn’t always favorable. But I wish him all the best.
In my opinion, this is the best deal. Tell me straight up from the beginning what it is, or what it isn’t. That way I’ll know if we are on the same page, and we can decide how or if we want to go forward from there. It can either lead to a dark place or a beautiful one, but I feel it’s better to be honest and straightforward. Depending on the situation, if you decide to involve yourself, it was your decision to go there as opposed to being led on or better yet assume something is what it isn’t.
Communication is key when dating just as it is in a relationship. If you can’t properly communicate what you want or don’t want while at the dating stage, you can’t expect much from a relationship – if you ever get there.
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