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YAWD TALK: WHEN DI OWNER FI DI MAN A HIM MUMMA

 

 

I was born in America but I have a strong Jamaican background and grew up in that culture, even living there for a few years.  Today when they say “di owner fi di man”, it usually means his wife or “wifey”.  In the case of my ex-husband, it’s his mama.

I guess growing up and seeing my dad’s mom and my mother get along so well, I could not for the life of me understand my former mother-in-law’s dislike for me.  For the first three years of marriage, everything was all good.  I noticed little things but I chalked it up to my then husband as being a straight momma’s boy, which I didn’t mind.  But I didn’t understand the difference between having respect for his mother and having a straight obsession which in turn made him a puppet.

That third year of marriage is what opened my eyes to the problem.  Marrying me, he was able to become a legal permanent resident and after that 3-year period of having to stay married to a citizen had passed, mama showed her ass!  We went to Jamaica to spend Christmas and New Years with his family and that ended up being the worst trip I had ever been on in my life. She went out of her way to make me uncomfortable as a guest in her house, instigating arguments between my then husband and I, and he played right into it. It had gotten so bad that I ended up leaving their house and my husband, and went to stay with my father and family who I had there. Thank God I had that option! After that I never stepped foot back in that yard which was back in 2011.

All of it made me reflect and realize some things.  I was the third woman he had ever lived with and second marriage for him.  It never dawned on me until then that she never had anything good to say about any woman he had ever been with and the same with his older brother (who was separated from his wife and went back to living at home with mama).  I noticed that every time we were around her we would get into a big argument over something she would say or bring up.  I realized that although I was his wife, I would never be a priority over his mother and he would never demand any kind of respect for me due to this obsession.  Her power over him was STRONG.  I mean hell, we lived in separate fucking countries, thousands of miles away, and he was still her puppet!

Her lack of respect for me is what ultimately led to our demise as I am no pushover nor do I hold my mouth to people who are disrespectful towards me.  I don’t care who it is, or how old they are.  Especially when I had a husband who never came to my defense and just let shit happen all because according to him “she’s old and not gonna change”.  Especially when my mother treated him like she gave birth to him and always respected our marriage.  Lastly, especially when I was quick to defend him to people in my own family and would not allow him to be disrespected by anyone.

All of this to say that I learned that although he had women before me, during our marriage, and now after divorce, di owner fi di man a him mumma.  That’s the only woman for him.

Look out for my second book coming soon titled Love, Marriage, Dishonor, Hate.  Thanks for visiting Meeshmoves!

 

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THE POWER OF THE TONGUE

First off get your mind out of the gutter!  I’m about to get into the meaning of the title – but it’s not that! LOLL!!  All jokes aside though, I’ve seen in life where words out of one’s mouth has brought success, sadness, trouble, and tragedy.  Not a lot of us think about that when we say things.  I mean we’re all human!  Sometimes shit just comes out.

I have many moods and depending on the mood, I can say positive things or sometimes I can talk some reckless shit.  Either way, it’s realizing the power of your tongue with regards to your life that signifies growth, and I’m getting to that point of realization.

I’ve come to learn that no matter how angry I get, remaining positive and speaking positivity into my life actually does bring good things, which far outweighs being negative and salty.  I’ve been in that place of constantly speaking negativity and that was all I ever encountered.  I’ve also realized that no matter how much I lash out or curse people out that upset me, it doesn’t make me feel better inside.

In the heat of the moment, I sometimes can’t help my reaction to certain things – especially having a hot head – but I know I feel good when I ignore things that bring me no joy.

Don’t let your tongue hinder you from happiness.  Be positive, be happy.  Speak it into existence and watch life take a different turn!  Slowly but surely I’m starting to see that with mine.

Thanks for visiting Meeshmoves!  Don’t forget to check out my vlogs on the Meeshmoves YouTube channel!  Like and subscribe!

 

 

 

 

WHEN IT’S TIME TO GO: THIRTIES TRANSITIONS

In life, we all have a moment where we want to just “GO”.  It could be a job, a relationship, friends, family, or a change in environment.   But when that want becomes a need, sometimes you just have to do it.

Most of us have that moment in our thirties.  They say as a humans, we start life transitions around that age.  I feel like that’s definitely a fact.  All of my life transitions happened in my thirties.

It started with my circle.  Family that I grew up with had to become strangers, and friendships that drifted a part had to be let go.  It was all a part of the process.

Next came my marriage.  I got married in my twenties.  Who I became in my thirties was not the same person, and that was hard to accept by my then husband, which I feel contributed to the downfall of that relationship.

Then the J-O-B.  Initially I saw myself climbing up the career ladder and really go places within the company.  My then boss sold me a good con when he asked me to come back and work with him.  Not a lot of people could work with him due to his unfiltered mouth when it came to certain things that should not be discussed in the workplace such as POLITICS.

He is a hardline republican (should say it all) and would say things that I would chalk up to him babbling shit but to others it was intolerable.  I started working there the same year I got married and I had a good salary so I only gave a shit about stacking my money and making moves.  Therefore I didn’t take a lot of his shit seriously, and once you voiced up to him he would calm down and stop talking whatever shit he was talking about.

And then what I dub “The Trump Effect” took place after the 2016 elections, and he just became unbridled with the racist and demeaning comments.  I don’t know if it’s the times, or if it’s me growing (this whole thirties transition thing) AKA getting old, but I became unable to tolerate his mouth and began to take his ass on.  Then I would give him this disgusting attitude sometimes unintentionally, but I didn’t care nonetheless.  I mean I would come into the office in a good mood and then as soon as he got in I would turn sour.  I had to take a step back and ask myself; is this the life that’s going to give you what you want?  Hell no!

I got my real estate license and began doing that as my side hustle.  I never hid that from the company as in this business, the more you can get your name out there the better.  Now he asked me to do something when taking rental applications that I as a licensed agent could not do as it is considered discrimination.  The company did not pay for me to get my shit and I have morals about me so I was not about to risk it.

Said boss rejected a good rental application and while going over it with the applicants, they inquired about buying and I gave them my business card.  Fast forward a few months later and I get them a house.  When I told him about it, he had a look of envy in his face and asks me – after over 10 years of working with me and knowing my work ethic – “are you doing this real estate business on company time?”  I said “excuse me?” and then I chuckled and calmly said “no.”  Meanwhile, all he did on “company time” was play Trump speeches blaring from his computer for the entire office to hear, runs home everyday for a few hours to do whatever, and constantly interrupting staff while they are working to talk about movies and politics.

The next day I gave in my resignation and was out of there!  There was never any intention of moving me from the position that I was in which was under him, and the minute he saw I was doing bigger things of my own accord, it seemed to piss him off AKA hatin’.

Now I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders.  Although I took a leap of faith and left New York altogether, I no longer have that feeling of fear before I let it all go.  I feel excited about the unknown.  Plus I set myself up so that I can make moves in my new state and got my GA real estate license, did some networking and met the right people to help me get to where I need to be.  All of this I did ahead of time so don’t feel like I didn’t strategize my shit.  Once I made up my mind I did what I had to do to make sure I’m good.

So my point?  When it’s time to go, chuck up the deuces and GO!

Thanks for visiting MeeshMoves!  Follow on facebook, IG, twitter @meeshmoves.  Also don’t forget to subscribe to Meeshmoves vlog on youtube!

WEDNESDAY WISDOM: DIVORCE CAN BE LIKE A DEATH

Divorce stories are countless.  Whether it had to do with infidelity, disrespect, abuse, etc., when it actually happens, the loss you feel can be as if someone died.  I won’t act like it wasn’t the best decision for me, but after ten years in a marriage, the shit still hurts.

I don’t know about anyone else, but I never married with the intention of getting divorced, and no one should.  My plan was to build a life with that person.  So when I had to make that decision to walk away, it was gut-wrenching – but necessary.

It’s not something to be taken lightly, and should be exercised only if there is no other solution and nothing else works.  If your union is strong enough to withstand the outside factors – or “sharks” as I heard a pastor refer to them as – treasure that unbreakable bond.

If you have to take that step to divorce, you will mourn the marriage, no matter how bad it was.  But it’s ok, it’s a part of the process!  Eventually you’ll get back to you!

Thanks for visiting Meeshmoves!  Don’t forget to follow!

LONDON IN PICS

This trip was so spur of the moment.  I decided and planned to go for my birthday, which was only two weeks away.  I was going through a lot in my personal life and I needed to just get away.  After checking in with my cousin to see if I could crash at his place and getting confirmation, I went on British Airways and didn’t think twice about buying that ticket.

It was the best decision!  It was an amazing ten days and I was finally able to add England to my list of traveled places, and I can also now say that I’ve been to that side of the world.  Lol!  Small thing for some folks but big for me as I usually only go to the Caribbean when I say I’m going overseas.  My travel list isn’t all that long yet, but with my new outlook on life, it will be!

Being that I had never been there prior and I was traveling by myself, I took some necessary steps prior to my departure that I would advise to everyone.  First off, I have a  shitty mobile phone.  It is a galaxy s6 edge plus and also the worst phone I’ve ever had, but with the money I paid for it, I have to make this shit work.  If someone calls me it goes to voicemail and when I try I have to do it like three times before it actually connects.  BUT, I can receive and make calls via WhatsApp, Facebook, and other wifi/data apps with no issue.  So I went online and found a site called visitbritainshop.com.  On this site I put in an order to rent a mobile wifi device which I would pick up at my terminal when I got to Heathrow.  I had to make sure I was able to call and receive calls at all times.  That and I wanted the same internet capabilities I had back home to share every special moment as they happened!

Although I got my device when I got to Heathrow, the site was not specific in stating that the name of the location where I was to pick it up in the airport was called “excess baggage point” as opposed to anything that said “visit great Britain shop”.  I had to ask different airport workers who pointed me in different directions until I got to an airport worker that actually knew what I was asking for.  I picked it up and made my way.  VERY IMPORTANT – I booked it until the day that I was leaving and I had to be return it in all of the packaging at the airport at my departure terminal.  If you forget, you’ll get a high penalty fee and other penalties until it is returned to the vendor.

I stayed in Hammersmith which I learned was in West London.  First thing’s first, get my oyster card!

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Just like how we have metro cards in NYC, they have this.  So I got mine and hit dem streets!

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You know I took my ass to the top in the front right?  I had to do it!  And the driver kept riding the damn sidewalk, which looked and felt crazy from up there!  But it was fun!

I had to go check out Brixton, without a doubt.  I always heard it was like East New York and with my Caribbean background, I wanted to see.  And it is – to me.  And just like Brooklyn, gentrification is happening there as well.

 

Almost everyone that goes to England flock to Buckingham Palace, Windsor Castle, the London Eye, etc.  Not saying that all that isn’t great to see if you never have,  but for some reason I was more interested in seeing rural England.  Could be my Game of Thrones obsession (I know it isn’t all filmed there).  Anyway, first stop – Stonehenge!  That day they were about to have that solstice festival thing so I’m thinking that’s the reason it’s roped off as I thought I’d be able to walk up in there and take some pics.  But I got shut all the way down!  Still got some good ones though!

 

Next was Bath, England.  I had to check out the roman baths.  It was fascinating, but the pool in the picture was the only one that had much water in it.  The others were mostly dried up or had a little trickle.  But I was glad I went nonetheless.

I had fish and chips across from the museum at this restaurant called The Roman Baths Kitchen.  It had comfortable outdoor seating so I went.  I’ll be honest, I did not enjoy it.  As soon as I cut the fish, the oil just started leaking out of it.  I must have had two chips and said forget about it!

Last stop of the tour was in Stratford-upon-Avon AKA Shakespeare town.  The group I was with was given a tour of his school with a little trip back in time as we went to a pretend class to experience school life during that era.  Interesting!

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The tour also went through an area called The Cotswolds where the houses were built with this Cotswold of stone with a certain kind of pattern.  The tour was a drive through only so even though it was charming and pretty, I didn’t get any pics as I fell asleep and caught a glimpse as we were leaving.   I saw these sights all in one day.  I booked the “England in a Day” tour with Premium Tours and met at the meet up point which was at Victoria Station.  Coming back they let me off close to where I was staying and I took and from there I took an Uber home.

The rest of my time was spent enjoying quality time with my family and indeed I did!  From my cousin who hosted me cooking everyday, my other cousin took me to check out some restaurants (Poppy’s II & Nando’s) and to get a London-style kebab, to going to a Jamaican-style fish fry in this area called Thornton Heath, I ate well!  I’m getting hungry thinking about that shit right now.

There was so much more I wanted to do but time would not allow.  Also I did this trip unexpectedly but the next time – and there definitely will be a next time – I’ll definitely do them.  I want to ride the Eurostar and check out Ireland, Scotland, and Wales.  I also want to do a day trip over to Amsterdam.  The Game of Thrones tour is definitely something I want to do as well. I saw the packages online and it looks exciting!

I have soooo much footage from this trip that I had to break it up.  So in this post you saw some pictures and the next I’ll have the vlog video ready.  You can also check out the pic video below.  Enjoy and thanks for visiting MeeshMoves!

APPLYING CARIBBEAN FINANCE PRACTICES TO REAL ESTATE = BLACK WEALTH

Growing up in a Caribbean household, you become accustomed to certain ways and practices of the culture.  I am of Jamaican descent, and we have a saving practice called a “partner” or “su-su” amongst other islands.

Basically, if you wanted to buy a car, pay bills, or even a house, this is one of the ways to gather the money if you can’t get traditional financing.  How it works is you have a set amount of people – for this example I’ll use ten.  A contribution amount is set and each person has to submit that amount to the designated banker – which is the individual who will hold the pooled funds – until ready for distribution.  For this example I’ll set the figure at $200.  Each week, one person will get the draw which is the entire amount of pooled funds over the next ten weeks (because it’s 10 people).  That’s $2000 for every person that’s in it.

Now that was just an example of how the concept works.  What if we were to apply this concept to acquiring real estate?  What if we not only pooled funds, but pooled credit and income in order to get loans to acquire/develop/rehab commercial & residential real estate and build black empires?

There’s power in numbers and I’m all about building with and for my people!  It just takes that first investment property that can be a tiny little structure which can take us to housing communities, shopping centers, high-rise buildings, etc.  As the old Jamaican proverb says, “every mickle make a muckle”.   In other words, collaboration can make us great!

If you’re interested in more on this, drop me a message and lets talk!  Thanks for visiting Meeshmoves.com!

THAT BUYERS’ AGENT HUSTLE

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Let me tell you, this real estate game is a real hustle, especially in New York.  It has definitely become a sellers’ market here, and offers are competitive.

I recently got my clients offer accepted on a move-in ready house that’s perfect for them, and exactly what they wanted.  BUT, we had to compete with another buyer.  I was in London on a private tour and without my laptop when I got the call from the seller’s agent.  I negotiated the offer and got it accepted, set up the home inspection, and arranged contact with my clients attorney to get the contracts for my clients to sign.

All of this done with just my cell phone, a piece of scrap paper from my bag, and my red lip liner since I had no pen.  When you get into this business, even on vacation the work doesn’t stop.  As an agent, it is my responsibility to give 100% to my clients and I take that seriously.

Word of mouth is one of the best marketing tools in this industry.  It’s important when your clients can relay a positive experience with you as their agent.  That can land a referral right into your hands.

Thanks for visiting Meeshmoves.com and don’t forget to follow!

THAT SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY!

I love each and every time I fly down to Atlanta.  I get to spend time with my mom and stepdad, I get to see my bestie, and I get to indulge on some good ol’ southern comfort food.  This last trip I did all of that and then some!

This trip was a mix of business and pleasure, and boy was it productive!  I flew into Atlanta and went straight to enjoy the Georgia Renaissance Festival.

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Things old world like that tends to fascinate me – AND it felt like I was in an episode of Game of Thrones!  I planned to buy one of those dresses they wore back then since I always wanted one.  But when I saw that $800 price tag on them (some of them even more) I kindly shelved that idea.  However, the prices were definitely warranted as they were authentic and of quality material.   I loved the different attractions, and FOOD.  Had to get the huge turkey stick and kill it Viking style.  After all of that, how sweet it was to just walk back across the street to my family’s house.

 

The next day my mom and I drove down to Jacksonville to scope out the area as it is one of the places I may relocate to.

 

It’s a very strong possibility that it may be my final destination because I straight fell in love with it.  I love the beach and tropical weather so Florida is definitely in the running.  With Jacksonville, I can get the inland feel as well as the beachy tropical feel – basically the best of both worlds.  Not to mention the people.  SO friendly and polite!  I networked with ease, even having people asking me for my resume when that wasn’t even my intention.  I also linked up with family and again – enjoyed some good food!

On the way back to Atlanta from Jacksonville, we stopped in Macon, GA at my cousin’s restaurant Tropical Flava Caribbean Restaurant which has top ratings on Trip Advisor.  He is an amazing chef and restaurant owner who has a serious passion for what he does.  His cuisines NEVER disappoint!

 

Once I got back to Atlanta, it was quality time with my bestie and my godson.  Spent the day with my godson at the Alpharetta pool and then it was grown-folk time in the evening with by bestie and one of her friends.  We went to Cirque Daiquiri Bar & Grill where indulged in some good food, drinks, hookah, and music!

 

Last stop was Chattanooga!  I was determined to make the most out of my trip so I scheduled the state exam for my Florida Community Association Manager (CAM) license, and the only test center that had availability was in Tennessee.  So me and the fam made a day trip out of it.

After I took and passed the state exam, we went to Hickory Pitt BBQ in Chattanooga where we met a new friend named Jason who is also the owner of the restaurant.  He is so personable and kind.  In talking to us, we found out that he lived in Jamaica for a few months years and years a go as a missionary, and told us how he loved Ting and could never find it.  As Jamaicans, we told him we got him.  My mom got his personal info and the next week sent him a case of Ting and scotch bonnet pepper sauce.  He loves spice and never had that one.  After our dinner, he told us that people like us makes him love having his restaurant and makes him enjoy running it.

With all of the social and political drama in our country today, there’s one thing that cannot be taken away from it and that’s how beautiful this country is, and regardless of the current encouraged division by our country’s current leadership, the beautiful people of this country (which I feel is the majority) gives me hope of better days ahead.

Thanks for visiting MeeshMoves.com and don’t forget to check out the vlog below!

GETTING LICENSED IN OTHER STATES

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When I got licensed to sell real estate in New York.  I was told about this thing called reciprocity, which basically meant that there were certain states that I could get my real estate sales license without having to take the courses and state exam all over again.  I always kept that in the back of my mind just in case I ever decided to leave New York.

Fast forward a year later and I’ve that it’s definitely time to leave the city life.  The older I get, the less desirable the hustle bustle of city life tends to become.  On top of the fact that certain changes in my personal life (will discuss in a different blog post) has motivated me and lit fire to my ass to get the hell out of here.  Being that I want to head south, I had to get certain things done and make myself more marketable.

I now not only hold a NYS real estate sales license, but I now have a Georgia real estate sales license and am currently in the process of getting my Florida Community Association Manager (CAM) license.  I’m ready to make a move and once I set my mind on something, I don’t ease up until I do it.

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Never depend on or let someone else determine your success or how you reach your goals.  Whether it be a boss that refuses to grow you, a spouse, family, or friends that refuse to support you.   If you are not happy where you are in life, grab the bull by the horns and make shit you want happen!

Thanks for visiting MeeshMoves!

RENTAL APPLICATIONS: BE CAREFUL OF DISCRIMINATION!!!

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Fair Housing laws are very important to keep up on for both property owners and managers.  The slightest form of discrimination can be a serious offence in the real estate sector.

In this post I’m more going to touch on rental applications.  Managing apartments in New York City, I’ve become cognizant to the rules, especially in rent-stabilized properties.  I remember working under a Property Manager who could not understand that their way of giving an application could cause serious trouble.  First of all, no one should be denied a rental application if they request it.  Even before knowing this rule, I personally felt like everyone had a right to apply for an apartment they wanted.  Didn’t necessarily mean that they would be approved, but nothing tried nothing done.  Right?

Also, be very careful with questions on children.  The particular manager I worked under would blatantly ask, “Do you have children?  How many?  How old?”.  The manager’s rationale was that if they were teenage boys, they would become a problem on the property.

Rightfully, those questions should not even be asked – even if you think it and even if it has proven to be so.  If an applicant wanted to, that could be a discrimination case right there.  The proper thing to ask is “how many people will be living in the apartment”.  That would verify compliance with occupancy standards to make sure there is no case of overcrowding.  If an applicant had the slightest inkling of the reasons the manager asked about children or had knowledge of the Fair Housing laws (majority don’t) , that’s an easy case with the Department of Human Rights.

Now I don’t know about other states but in NY, even when the case works out in the landlord’s favor (I’ve seen it go both ways), it’s costly to the landlord to prove that there was no case of discrimination while it costs nothing to the applicant.  Therefore, it’s better to avoid kid questions all together!

Another important question to avoid is “where do you work?”  Why should that matter?  All the manager/landlord needs to know is if you work and verify your income and credit to make sure you can afford the apartment.  The manager I keep referring back too would again go against the rules and ask where they worked.  The rationale was that city and state workers are easily collectible if they don’t pay, and those jobs are hard to lose therefore the manager would rather rent to them.  Private sector jobs are easy to lose.

Now while said manager may not have said this to applicants, in talking to them it was implied on many occasions by lines such as, “We have mostly city and state workers here.  We love them!”, to a city worker coming in for an application.  Meanwhile, the person standing right behind the city worker does not work for the city or state and gets an entire different (discouraging) experience when they inquire about an apartment.  I strongly advise against these tactics.  It can surely come back to bite you in the ass!

Lastly, do not give different rental rates to people based on whether or not you think they will pay the rent.  For example, if someone comes in with a section 8 voucher or any other type of government housing program, DO NOT give them a different rent price than what you would give a full rent paying applicant.  I’ve seen where a higher price was quoted for an apartment in hopes that the subsidy voucher could not cover it.  City and State officials do send out inspectors who pretend to be applicants in order to investigate discriminatory practices from landlords.  If you get found out, you will have a big problem on your hands.

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Overall as a landlord/manager, your best bet is to be FAIR. Hence Fair Housing laws. If you have a standard procedure for applying to your apartments, it should apply to everyone who applies.  Once you do a background check, that’s what you base your approval or rejection on.  If a person has good credit and debt to income ratio is within your rental guidelines, then turn that vacancy into an occupied.

Thanks for visiting MeeshMoves and if you have any questions or need a consultation, send me a message with your contact information.  I love using my personal experience to help others!